.

2009-06-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

He marries a model

and thinks he is king

clinton was just too shy one could say

the pint size thing

he bans the burkha

paris need more color he sings

the savior fits a size two

what would he do i think

when joseph kutty goes to pari

fear for his balls?

and ban the lungi?

2008-02-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

Last sunday i got my head shaved because i was getting bored.

This way i had someone else to look at in the mirror the whole day.

Last time i did that, mother almost disowned me.

People who are successful always make a list

1.

Roomies: Three, dude, the uber caring, madu poor little rich kid who hasn't exactly figured out
how to hang up on people. Since his second day here, he has not been called anyhing else but dude.He arrived in a car, th ekind with a dicky, with a mineral waterbottle in his hand and went about the whole day addresing people as dude.This was retribution. He takes it sportingly, he is part of the group now.He has always taken it sortingly, except i think once when we hid his corn flakes . Uber chic he is, the girls like.He himself like.

PK, the tall, balding, bungling, financial freak who will hump anything with numbers on it.At one point of time we had to keep him away from cars.I have a icture of him sleeping while hugging the day's economic times.I am not going near the drool. What he woud like is to wear a blazer and go work for position in which he would be paid to go and talk.the rest of the time i think would be gladly spent sleeping.Do not piss him off.I am not kidding. His granddad is rumored to have more than one double barrel guns in his room. and they work. and he gets us gin filled chocolates.

They don't make shoes that fit PK or anna.and anna wears his off sooner.He is surprised that people can be larger than him.I am dreading the day he goes to the states.Legend has it that when he was a child in undies and undies only and when neighbourhood aunties used to tickle his belly and their daughters used to pull his cheeks, anna stopped a train in its tracks by looking at it hard enough-the station masters whole family swears.The little boy from madurai, is what his dad called him when he first came- a comment followed by thunderous silence in the room as anna stood up stooped to avoid the ceiing.

What was 2?

There goes my future.phhbbbtt :P

2007-10-06T04:05:00.000-07:00

And then there was this whole thing about what love is. Abbah,cliched fool , you will say ,but i see people all around me who seem to think they know what it is.

Arpit says it is when you start to go weak in the knees and i think thats probably because that is where his brain is, or only slightly higher.
Ganjanan says he will marry the girl who sits in the next cubicle because they would be spending most of the time in the office anyway.they will make space for a small new cubicle when time comes , he says.

There isnt much to it i think , except wanting her presence to overwhelm you every moment of your waking life .

I need attention.I have friends who will talk to me at two in the morning.They will curse and vow to heap my clothes and set them on fire, but they will talk.I am selfish that way.I will want attention from people i like,and give attention to people whom i like.I will go to them because they will be fun or intelligent.I will shun the ones who don't meet expectations.I will drop in at odd times.I won't call.I will not keep frienships.I have a couple that i cherish.

I will fall in love with people who don't want to, but i wont care.I will just want to.I will care and bug and be the hutch ka kutta.

I will tell the girls when they are wearing shirts too short.Why do they do that? Is there not the next size? Is it a test? Are they trying to test all men around them and see when exactly it is that they crack under the pressure? or is it simbly because they sweat more than we do? Is it wrong to tell them? Will they get conscious an all? because seriously, i don't want to want to know what brand of inner wear you own. and girls should wear shirts which have captions written on the back no? otherwise they should just shut up and not bother when guys read them no.

Forget whatever you just read.That was not me writing.That was crap.But i had to.

2007-08-28T07:16:00.000-07:00

i am hungry
i am desperate to post
i dont want to give up something i started.again.
i dont want to be mediocre.
i know i am getting there.
i am getting bored.often.
i am getting bored of getting bored.
i am falling for girls who are
a.committed
b.not interested.(in anybody)
c.have religious commitments.
d.are in love with himesh reshamiya.

which is why i am pushing myself,
despite revolting innards, smell, and all,
i shall espouse eloquently on the two most controversial topics under the sun.god, and himesh reshamiya.yes, every blogger has to wrirte about him nowadays, or like
haribabu says, it isn't complete.

write in brief:
god, i believe in.religion, i don't.i am sure those who are devoutly religious believe in the notion of god and lesser so in the road they take.
the sect of people-who-jump-off-twenty-four-storey-buildings is the new rage.they get there faster.i belive in god primarily because i find it hard to belive in darwin.for people who do, galapagos is probably heaven,and the hms beagle is the thing which goes across hades which is manned by the scary guy with the wierd name and gaurded \by the three headed dog whom hercules fed pediogree biscuits.
no wait.that was hell.
ok ok.he made the connections.soldered, joined wires, made mouths, penises, breasts and noses.we all generally agree that he knew his job.except perhas, a half of a billion tend to think, in the case of himesh naakwallah.he sings.ok.he is allowed to sing.how? he sells.appaling! and his aap ka surroor the real mooveee is a hit.faints and dies with a fart.
(read the godfather, all about death and its smells, sphincter they call it, i found out.)

2007-06-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Revenues
- operating expenses
- depreciation and amortization
= operating income - Interest expenses
= Taxable income - Taxes
= Net Income .

yes.
really!

2007-05-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

I am to wear formals and work.
I may be good that way.

2007-05-21T22:52:00.000-07:00

Eat at all the places that can give you diarrhoea.(this thing spells it as diarrhea.whats diarrhea?oh my freaking goodness!!! they changed the spelling!! After all these years!! there goes another thing i can't be proud of anymore, though i always wondered why they didn't do it earlier.no wait.there IS a diarrhoea too.)

ok

Are the panels supposed to be this way? Myself and professor Nath were completely out of place.I didn't know we had to shout at the students, I thought it was to be a peaceful affair, i thought everyone went out happy.How can one shout like that? are they all constipated on the same day? our mothers did bnot bring us up this way...

prof sarkar.

He was so happy he farted.

2007-05-06T14:20:00.000-07:00

you cant love or be loved!?
you say as if it is terrible, believe me it isn't.
you have been in love before!,it didn't last, it never does.
love, desire, ambition, faith- without them, life's so simple, believe me.

(from 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers')

Love to the brink of sorrow.Ambition lost in an all enveloping sense of rejection.
Faith being limited to the idea of me.I whisper to myself.

Will life be much more peaceful?
will it be a talisman of eternal bliss? ephemeral?
A rhapsody .of serendipity, of redolent chocolate,of travels ,a pastiche that a woman is.

Can there be halcyon love, foggy ambition, an a life ruled by guilt?

will there be no more wanting of ps3? of food? sex?

2007-03-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

Of birthdays bathrooms and other B..

One cannot but be excited by ones day of birth.The days beyond hold immense promise.regardless of the situation.I am ,as many others are, excited by this
truly magical moment.Though , however, i cannot help wondering as to why.it is just another day ,right? labour day is a holiday.yes? aids day? what about it?
women's day?? and I wont even go into valentine's day and the lot.
I am to be hailed as the protector of the universe, starting with manhattan of course, on this day.lauded and fauned upon as a darling of the masses.
I was, afterall, born;
and I don't even remember it. Most of my conscious memory was spent eating and pooping.and to quote a famous philosopher ..'I poop therefore I am'.

Truly.The bathroom(toilet, lavatory, loo, john, bog) is the only place I can fathom where one is assured of privacy.A place where you are left to your self. Introspection of the deepest sorts , I say, takes place here.Men** change on trips to bathrooms.A trip to the bathroom, normally a quiet moment in anyone’s life, becomes an absurd entry wedge into metaphysical disharmony sometimes, as pulp-fiction very successfully demonstrates.John(oh that's why!) travolta is in a situation every time he makes a trip to the loo.

I forget what I started out to write.

**I am not sure about women.

One track minds 2

2007-02-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

I swear i have absolutely no idea what women are thinking ok.I admit, i don't understand them, I don't get the signals.I am not getting it.Women, they are so subtle! everything they do is so subtle! men are not subtle.we are obvious. women know what men want, men know what men want.what do we want? we want women!
It is the only thing we know for sure! it really is.we want women.how do we get them? oh we don't know about that.nope we don't.This is why you see men honking car horns , talking loudly, riding footboards..these are the best ideas we've had so far!
The amazing thing is that we still get women.I mean you see men with women .how are these men getting women! many people wonder..
Now let me tell you a little bit about our organisation.we have our guys working where women are.every minute of the day, someone from our staff is there.may not be our best, but we are trying.
That's why i think men get frustrated.when we see women browsing through articles titled ' where to meet men'.we're here! we're everywhere!
we're honking our horns to serve you better.

(Seinfeld ,pilot episode 101)

2007-02-18T03:55:00.000-08:00

There is not a god.or more.This is no rant against things that I wish I had but have not,or that a person that I wished I was and am not.this is not a rebuff for when I was not allowed to go do soo soo and went in front of the class.This is not because I am in a place where the pink pants(for men) are haute couture and su che ? saru che? sorry , no daaru che is the chant. This isnt on behalf of palkol whose love life has taken a rather steep dive and is as dry as the state and who has taken to going aaghad paachad sooper che to every passing bimbette.
This isnt because i didnt meet her.

One might look to other worldly interference in their lives because they look for strength to do what they can't(or won't) otherwise .
But so does high-on-two-rounds-of-weed reddy, and his method works wonders to tell the truth.getting high on vodka and/or weed just about enough is all you need to get past those blues.working towards actually solving the problem comes a bit later.

people look beyond because they do not look within.

Pr()n

2007-02-04T21:32:00.000-08:00

It is what you think it is.not that could not come up with anything else (which i didn't) or that i am absolutely shameless (which i am) to write such an article on a decent blog (which,unfortunately..)

Anyway , this is a major issue and should have been a part of the serious sunday blogs (oh! did i tell you i was following the star movies themes ? .friday fury, wednesday worries ..u know!) .
This is a major part of growing up in every guy's life(girls? hmm..) and college is place he gets introduced to it, unless hes *Ranganathan types who despite having a deceptively dud name transforms into prOn god dodgeviper by night who doles out manna by the gigabyte.

Deny it as much as one may everyone has seen some form of the educative material in his lifetime in college.We have the very adamant **Raghu who fervently claims that he has not witnessed any form of the natural act of copulation .so much so , that some of us actually decided to not let a mate down on his post-nuptials(no no not that drastic! perverts).

Anyhoo , the point is that the multibillion dollar industry which provides this valuable service which wouldnt have been a multibiliion dollar industry if we had not been introduced to it in the first place which wouldnt have happened if the ....damn! vicious circle.
I am best being terse.prOn rules.

There are people who get dangerously addicted and screw up their lives.more so because they cannot offer a satisfactory explanation at home as to what he spends his time doing (not every parent takes j***ing off mildly) .But they are few.Most get bored , which is good ,because continuing this habit outside the protective envelope of the college and trying to rent a rated cd can be a haranguing experience.
Enough bakwaas.

PS :The number of 'X's is a very important indicator of how much you wish to be shocked and awed(be careful what you ask for)

* names changed to protect privacy(and because i really dont know their names)
** names deliberately not changed .
*** those are just bleeps

Yet again..

2007-01-10T08:39:00.001-08:00

I didnt fail.and so i got to keep my computer, got to eat, am alive and back.
Agreeable holidays..good food.a bit too much of it.
sun, sand, babes in bikinis.. playboys still intact.
no music though.now that i am back i am listening with a vengeance .

ek bar aja aja aja aja aaaaaja..

infinite loop.

Though the reason why i could/wanted to stay away from a lyrical note of any
kind for that long was maybe the overdose i got on my train ride back home.
december.tuesday.sleeper class.why not to do it.

because a punjabi marriage party wants to sleep in your lap.
because there are too many of them.and they are bored.always.
because they sing to beat boredom.
because this is what they sing,

ilu ilu.ilu ilu...
What is mobile number...
Ande ka phanda..
crazy kiya re..
jhalak dikhla jaaa aa aa
tutak tutak tutiyaaa
luck luck mera lucky kabootarr....

because they wont stop .ever.
because then they decide to get drunk.
because then the eunuchs join in.
(and they are a terror on these trains.as psr, a victim, will testify)
because the side upper births are made for luggage only.
(and me.)
because the toilets will be wrong handed.
(doesnt matter if you are lefty or righty)

but ill nevertheless do it.year after year.
because i can be home when i wake up.
because.

sad

2006-12-08T05:22:00.000-08:00

I dont know if it always had been this way.I dont recall the
exact beginning, the origins of this sordid state.
i have this wonderful knack of getting things wrong.
it takes surgeons to take my foot out of my mouth.
The truman show, the scene where it rains only on him ?
lightning gets me in the balls on a clear sunny day.
it is not even seasonal.
my 13th summer was my last happy one.
chocolates, kites and my first pair of pants.no more too-tall-for
your-shorts in a class full of giggling girls.
teenage..though frankly, i dont get what the fuss is all about.
i didnt get a bike, or pocket money, or freedom, or my first kiss
as promised in the bajaj ad.
which adds to all the misery.

I Dont Know

2006-12-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

lack of appetite, nausea, headache, claustrophobia ?
you are a writer in desperate need of some vodka.
I have no idea what to write on.and this is my second post.
the internet has made me dumb.
and i cannot live without it.
a day spent on a remote disconnected island
that is my home, and you'll see me curled up and sucking on my thumb.

I have free time now, and i have this impending feeling of constant doom.
that is what it is about growing up.you never know when you are getting a break.
I am twelve and i am lying.i could be, if the legal age was twelve.
so much more is expected of me now .
I wish i could go back in time and do badly in the first
grade.But i guess the last few years i have made up for it.
ancestors still hoping for a miracle, but im not going to make a mistake twice.
This way , they take joy in the small pleasures of life,
a C- thrills them, where an A- wasnt good enough.

I just cannot concentrate.

One Track Minds

2006-11-30T09:14:00.000-08:00

I was told by a very knowledgeable young thing that among
the first few things a guy had to do to ascertain his
manhood in the blogging community was to write a post
about their experiences  with the fairer sex,
what they are, what they seem to be,
and if they got any.
Apparently this is because almost every guy does that,
on this planet at least, bobby darling ..darling, you
are excused.
Is it really true that we cannot get girls out of our pitiful little heads?
(pun unintended, but i love it)
I personally, disagree with her, ours is not a one track mind
which cannot think beyond broads and breasts ,and in our defence,
where would those lovable bunnies be was it not for this attitude.
pervert,not.male,yes.

what do women think about?men have been dying for answers.i really
don't want to know actually .what they think about is their own
business.there is no justification to pry about.these days they
can map feelings in your head.the speaking green, the hearing blue,
and red red red as far as men are concerned.

I have to know when to stop.